Meredith McKay
by Lt. Emmeline Vakarian
Summary: Meredith McKay was the most arrogant, and self serving person Sheppard had ever met. If she were a man, he would have slugged her ages ago. McShep!AU
1. Mistakes

Meredith McKay

By Jennifer McKay

Summary: Meredith McKay was the most arrogant, and self serving person Sheppard had ever met. If she were a man, he would have slugged her ages ago. (McShep!AU)

Note: This is my first Stargate fanfiction. I got the idea from another fanfiction I read a while ago, I think it was a LoTR one. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter One: Mistakes

"Sheppard I think it's about time we left this place," Meredith stated frantically, backing slowly towards the DHD, her P-90 aimed at the Genii closing in on their position, "I really have no intention of subjecting myself to Kolya's _hospitality_ again."

"Agreed, dial us home McKay, I'll cover your six." Sheppard said moving in front of the petite brunette.

Meredith McKay started to punch in the fourth chevron when the team began to take fire. Teyla and Ronan flanked McKay on both sides as she continued to dial. Returning fire, SGA-1 seemed to be close to escape, but Ronan wasn't pleased at the speed of the retreat.

"Any day now McKay," Ronan barked.

"I'm working on it you neanderthal!" McKay replied slamming on the final chevron.

The roar of the Stargate's activation echoed, much to Sheppard's relief. Turning his head slightly to issue the next command he noticed the lack of wormhole. Wide eyed, McKay swiftly began to redial, sweat beads gathering on her forehead.

"I can't establish a connection to Atlantis!" She screamed, now hyperventilating, "We're dead, we're dead, we're dead!"

"Shut up!" Sheppard yelled at the same time, "Get the gate to work, now McKay!"

"I won't be able –" Before McKay was able to get an entire sentence out, the echoes of gunfire sounded.

A shot made contact with Ronan's left leg. The Specialist let out small grunt as he tried to maintain his balance. He wasn't successful as another round of bullets was fired, and the Genii moved in. Ronan was now down on one knee, making some impressive hits despite his injury.

Meredith crouched down, placing the P-90 in her left hand down on the ground next to her. Opening the DHD, McKay attempted to evaluate the problem. She took out a flash light, and began to investigate further, "Sheppard the energy regulator crystal is damaged, the system's been initiating an automatic shutdown protocol! The only way to fix this is by rerouting--"

Meredith was able to work swiftly with the sudden silence, and then realized the gunshots had stopped; Looking up, McKay felt like crying, they had been surrounded.

"Drop your weapons," The ever-familiar voice of Acrutus Kolya commanded, "And no one will get hurt."

Meredith rose, her hands in the air, and a terrified look on her face. Sheppard, Teyla, and Ronon were more reluctant in relinquishing their weapons, and admitting surrender, but did so after Sheppard made the first move to do so. The minute the last P-90 was on the ground the Genii moved in, binding the team's hands behind their backs. If it weren't for the guns pointed vigilantly at his team Sheppard might have made a move to escape, but there were others he was responsible for.

"Make sure to take their packs, and supplies," Kolya said nonchalantly, "We don't need them getting any ideas…"

"Not again," Meredith began to mumble a mile a minute, as a Genii officer roughly parted McKay from her pack, "I need the power bars in there, I'm hypoglycemic, I'll _die_. You don't want _me_ to _die_, right? I mean, I'm an asset to you, being the smartest person in this entire galaxy and all!"

"I assure you Dr. McKay, you will be absolutely fine." Kolya reassured, a twisted grin on his face. He motioned for his soldiers to move out, and as SGA-1 was herded back to the Genii outpost they had attempted to raid, McKay began to get a sick feeling in her stomach.

The entire two clicks it took to get back to the outpost McKay was chattering, as if her life depended on it. Ronan, quickly grew tired of it, and was surprising vocal about that fact. Teyla remained indifferent, but John quickly noticed Kolya seemed to take a sick pleasure in Meredith's panic. John grimaced, thoughts of how he would like to smash Kolya's skull into concrete began filtering through his mind. If only he had killed the bastard when he had, had the chance. Sheppard caught the sound of McKay's humming, tuning it John couldn't help but internally chuckle; McKay never let up, at least she was persistent.

"…I mean you haven't been very successful at capturing us, and keeping us for very long. We always figure out how to foil your plans. What makes you think you'll be any more successful now? The odds are stacked against you."

"Take them to the holding cells, I'll be there in a minute." Kolya said vanishing into the underground complex.

Three hours later the four teammates were still trapped, with no way to get in contact with Atlantis. Some medical assistance had been given to Ronan, but not enough to stop his bleeding completely or to remove the bullet lodged in his leg. He didn't complain, but he didn't really have too, McKay was complaining enough for the entire team. It had only been a few minute ago when McKay began to quiet down, a pale look on her face.

"Meredith," Teyla questioned, "Are you alright?"

"I'm just succumbing to hypoglycemia," McKay responded sarcastically, a pout on her lips, "I'll be fine."

Before the conversation could continue, Kolya and a group of personal guard came to the cell, "No miraculous plan to save yourself McKay?" The older man jested.

McKay didn't respond, crossing her arms defiantly.

"We'll figure something out yet," Sheppard interjected, "What do you want?"

"McKay's scientific knowledge," Kolya said staring directly the woman in question, "…some information, and a little bit of revenge." He finished his eyes locked with John's.

"I'm not telling you anything!" McKay blurted out, "You can forget it!"

"What a shame, and here I thought my personal charm would have won you over." He pulled out a power bar from his jacket pocket, tossing it in his hand he began to chuckle as McKay's vision was pulled back to him.

"I see I have your attention Dr. McKay," Kolya said, taking a step closer, "Want this?"

"Meredith, ignore him," Teyla said, raising her hand to block the moving McKay, "You have no idea what he has done to it."

"That's true," Kolya responded, opening the bar up, "But then again, this could be a perfectly normal snack." With that he took a bite out of it, chewing slowly. He then began to move to put it back into his pocket.

This triggered McKay to jump up and rac eto the bars of the cell, her hand reaching out for the bar. Grabbing it from his hand, Kolya took the opportunity to grab her, slamming her again the bars. He stuck a pistol to her back.

"Well isn't this something," Kolya said, "Now I think I've got everyone's attention. Sheppard you're going to come with me, peacefully, and if you make any attempts to escape I'll kill McKay without hesitation. The same goes for you two." Koyla added, referring to Teyla and Ronan.

"You bastard!" John yelled, walking towards the bars. He didn't spare McKay the look of annoyance at their current situation.

Meredith McKay was the most arrogant, and self serving person Sheppard had ever met. If she were a man, he would have slugged her ages ago.

"Sorry Sheppard," McKay whispered, clearly ashamed. Her eyes were glued to the ground, the power bar all but forgotten.

Then there were those moments that Sheppard couldn't help but want to tell her everything would be fine. And they would be so he verbalized it,

"Don't worry about it McKay, everything'll be alright." He said as Kolya's men escorted him out of the cell and down the hall.

* * *

Let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated!


	2. Bonds

Meredith McKay

By Jennifer McKay

Note: Thanks to those of you who left comments, they're always appreciated! Now on with the story!

* * *

Chapter 2: Under Pressure

McKay had been pacing around the cell for what had seemed like hours. Twirling the small curls of her long hair, McKay used her free hand to nibble on the power bar. Shame over the situation had long vanished, and had transformed into legitimate concern. Every few laps McKay would attempt to look down the hall, hoping to see Sheppard in one piece.

"You're making me dizzy Meredith," Teyla announced, moving away from a sleeping Ronan, "Please sit down."

McKay didn't respond, her eyes now glued on the corridor that Sheppard had disappeared down. Teyla placed a reassuring hand on her teammate shoulder, "He'll be fine, he's a strong man."

"That's what I'm afraid of…" Meredith whispered, popping the rest of the power bar into her mouth. Her small fingers wrapped themselves around the bars of the cell. The echoes of yelling reached her ears; she closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cool metal.

Sheppard stared Kolya down, watching as the former military general eyed a trench knife that was clasped in his callous hands. John only wished he had use of his hands, which were secured to the metal tabletop.

"How did your team find out about this planet, our base?" Kolya questioned, now eyeing Sheppard, "Where is Atlantis?"

"I'm not telling you a thing," Sheppard spat, his mind's eye returning to the mission briefing they had, had with Elizabeth.

SGA-8 had survived a Wraith culling, and gained valuable information about how the Wraith had recently been extremely successfully at tracking the Lantian teams. Apparently, Kolya had sold his soul to the devil, and became a Wraith worshipper. With Kolya's knowledge of the expedition, the Wraith had been able to systematically wipe out teams. There had been three deaths the week before, and even more the week before that.

The Lantians were not without their own intelligence networks, and were able to trace the rogue Genii officer to MPX-518. The plan had been to get in, destroy the underground complex with deftly placed C4, and get out. The less the Wraith could use Kolya, the better. And now that the mission had been botched, John wasn't about to give up the Lantian allies, especially since many of the alliances were brand new.

"I think I can get you to talk," Kolya grinned, again brandishing the knife, "I'm just offering you the opportunity to speak, just in case you decided to be cooperative…"

"Well, I was always told I don't play well with others," John responded, as his trademark smirk found its way to his lips.

"I don't think you'll be smiling so much in a moment," Kolya said curling his fingers around the knife, forming a fist.

That's when Kolya struck Sheppard. The Colonel's teeth clamped together to insolate the blow, and now heat radiated on the skin of his cheek. It only took another millisecond before Shepard raised his eyes, staring defiantly at Kolya.

"Your brave face will not save you Sheppard," Kolya said striking Sheppard again, this time much harder. Sheppard accidentally bit the inside of his mouth, and the taste of metallic blood crossed his tongue, "Now tell me what I want to know, or this won't end."

The beating continued, yet Sheppard did not yield, his mind focused on the faces of the expedition members, the Athosians, and all of the other people who were dependent on his silence. With another sock to the face, John felt a tooth dislodge itself from his mouth. Without thinking John spat the tooth in Kolya's face.

"Clearly you are not concerned for your own well being," Kolya said, his breathing staggered. The giant man turned to his second command and ordered something inaudible.

Kolya, still breathing heavily, sat on the table in front of Sheppard. He placed the knife down, and cracked his knuckles. The two waited in silence, until Kolya's second in command returned with a syringe in his hand.

"You've got to be kidding me," John grunted, as Kolya injected himself with the contents of the syringe, "Wraith enzyme I presume?"

Remaining silent, waiting for the effects of the enzyme to coarse through his body, Kolya tilted his head back slightly. With a small shiver John knew that the enzyme was taking effect. Kolya opened his eyes, and smiled—wickedly. The door to the interrogation room burst open, revealing two Genii soldiers leading in a distraught McKay.

"Unhand me this instant you buffoons!" She shrieked, "I swear if I bruise you will be in serious trouble!"

John's eyes widened as his teammate was strapped to a chair across from him, her hands secured to the table, just out of reach from his. He struggled against the bonds that kept him trapped, furious that Kolya would even think of bringing McKay into this.

"Kolya you've crossed the line," John seethed.

"On the contrary Sheppard I've just barely skimmed it," Kolya said taking a strand of McKay's hair into his hand.

At this McKay finally spoke, moving her head to free her hair from his grasp, "Let go of me! Who do you think you are? This could be misconstrued as sexual harassment you know! Neither of us is going to tell you a thing. Just let us go and I'll forget about this entire thing."

Without warning, Kolya violently slammed the knife into McKay's left hand. She screamed, her body flinching at the electrical impulses that were being shot through her body. There was no way to stop the heated tears welling up in her eyes from falling, so McKay rested her forehead on the table.

"MCKAY!" John screamed, his eyes glued on the knife literally sticking out of McKay's hand. He attempted to stretch out his fingers, to reach McKay.

"Now that I have your attention, _again_." Kolya snarled, "Tell me what I want to know. Let's start with: Where's Atlantis?"

McKay couldn't say anything, the unending sensation of metal, flesh, and bone, was over taking her senses. Before she could even quantify her situation, someone grabbed her hair and pulled her up off of the table. Kolya ripped the knife out of her hand, and impulsively she let out another scream. Placing the knife against McKay's throat, Kolya turned to Sheppard. Salty tears streamed down McKay's cheeks reaching her dry lips. That's when the whimpering began.

McKay balled her right hand into a fist, and squirmed in her seat. Kolya began to trace the bloodstained knife tip, down the side of McKay's neck, resting the tip underneath McKay's collarbone. He began to dig the knife into the soft flesh, this time McKay sobbed.

"Kolya, that's enough!" Sheppard protested, his finger tip lightly brushing against McKay's.

"It hurts, it hurts" McKay cried, looking straight at John, her eyes desperate. Kolya began to tear the knife through the surface of her skin, "JOHN! GOD IT HURTS!"

"I can fix that McKay," Kolya said, revealing a small vial of yellow liquid. Uncorking the vial he poured some of it it onto McKay's bleeding hand.

McKay began to convulse so badly that she began to move the chair she was in, despite being restrained to the chair and table. John watched helplessly as McKay's body slowly became limp. Kolya placed a hand on McKay's cheek, examining the unconscious woman's face.

"It's meant to heal wounds, but the nature of the chemicals used causes extreme pain." Kolya announced, releasing McKay from his grasp and studying the small vial he had used, "Extremely taxing, the poor thing must be exhausted. How about I give her time to rest, and you time to think."

"How generous of you," Sheppard said sarcastically, as he was brought to his feet by the soldiers and led out of the interrogation room.

After being thrown back into the cell, and freed of his restraints the first thing Sheppard did was cradle an unconscious McKay in his arms.

"McKay you've got to wake up," Sheppard pleaded, "Please McKay, wake up…"

* * *

Again thanks to those who reviewed! I always enjoy feedback so please let me know what you thought!


	3. Rescued

Meredith McKay

By Jennifer McKay

Note: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! _Fandomatic_, I don't want to reveal my plans for this story just yet, but I promise not to leave you disappointed.

* * *

Chapter 3: Rescued

"W-what happened?" McKay mumbled, her head resting against something warm.

"McKay!" John's voice exclaimed, and McKay realized her warm pillow began to move as her eyes fluttered open, "Thank God you're awake!"

McKay found herself now sitting up right, with Sheppard's hands holding her straight. A throbbing sensation overcame her, as blood began to rush from her head. Meredith began to speak again, as soon as the white light blotching her vision cleared, "What the _hell_ happened?"

"Kolya," Ronan grunted, supplying the only answer Meredith needed.

Memories began to flash back into McKay's mind, but the most prominent was the malicious grin that had laced Kolya's features. The woman shivered slightly at the thought, and her vision fell to the concrete cell floor.

"How are you feeling Meredith?" Teyla questioned, placing a hand on her forehead, "No fever, that's good."

"I'm fine!" McKay finally shouted, uncomfortable with all three teammates glaring at her, "Seriously, I'm not a china doll!"

"That's not what you were telling the Genii earlier," John protested.

"What's a china doll?" Ronan quietly asked Teyla, who shrugged, not knowing the answer.

"It doesn't matter now Sheppard," McKay responded, her ocean blue eyes making contact with Sheppard's green ones, "Let's just focus on getting home, I'm _starving_."

A chuckle escaped Sheppard's lips, and he also shrugged his shoulders, silently conceding to McKay. The scientist began rambling on about possible ways of getting out. John estimated that they were now about three hours late for their check in with Atlantis, so a rescue team, if not the Daedalus, would be there soon enough.

"I think we need to hang tight," The Colonel replied.

"I agree." Teyla replied, "The others will be here for us soon."

"Are you kidding me?!" McKay nearly screamed, her cool demeanor shattered. She immediately rose from the ground, restarting her pacing about the cell, "I have no intention of letting _him_ anywhere near me!"

"Nor do I," Sheppard replied in response, "But there's not much we can do right now! Unless you have a brilliant idea you want to share with the class."

McKay surveyed his teammates reactions: Ronan looked indifferent, as did Teyla and John. Baffled by the fact that her teammates seemed perfectly fine with just sitting around waiting for Kolya to show up again, McKay went into a fit.

"_Seriously_, you all are just fine sitting around because none of you got a knife stabbed through your hand and acid poured onto your skin!" McKay clutched her left hand to her chest, the sensation of the wound returning to her mind, "You're all fine with me just getting the crap beaten out of me, while you all wait to be rescued. Yeah, let's just have McKay buy us some time! I'm not just some rag doll you know! I'm flesh and blood too!"

"Two seconds ago you just said you were fine," Ronan commented, clearly agitated, "So shut up."

"Sure, I'm fine. I'm just peachy here, all cooped up in this damn cell with teammates who don't seem to care about whether or not—"

McKay's rant stopped instantly at the sound of Kolya's voice, "My dear Dr. McKay, you seem so riled up. Is everything alright?"

McKay who had been facing her teammates, turned slowly around and was face to face with Kolya. She retreated to the back of the cell easily, as Ronan and Sheppard stood in front of her and Teyla. The Athosian wrapped her arms around a severely frightened McKay, who literally shook in fear.

"I need to talk with Dr. McKay again, so if you don't mind…"

Kolya's men withdrew Wraith weapons, shooting into the cell. There was nothing the Airforce Colonel or his team could do as they each fell to the ground, stunned; All except for Meredith who was crying again.

"Please don't come near me," She begged, no longer able to see due to her tears.

Rough hands grabbed McKay's arms, and she fought against the force pulling her from the cell. She screamed incomprehensibly, as she was dragged.

"HELP ME! PLEASE GOD, LET ME GO!"

oOo

When John began to open his eyes the first thing he remembered was being shot at with Wraith stunners, and Kolya wanting to talk to…

"MCKAY!" John's body shot up, and he began scanning the room.

Much to his relief Sheppard found himself in the Lantean infirmary, surrounded by the familiar sights and sounds the Ancient city provided. Surveying the room further he found Teyla sitting by Ronan's bedside, a book and pencil in her hands. Ronan was slumbering, with a small smile on his face. Sheppard's outburst did not go unnoticed however, and the Athosian leader was soon at his side.

"John!" She exclaimed happily, "You're finally awake!"

"How long have I been out?"

"Just under a day," A new voice contributed to the conversation. It was Carson Beckett, "I'm glad you're alright. You seemed to have taken quite a beating, lad."

"What about McKay?" Sheppard questioned seriously, not really concerned about his own prognosis.

"That's something I need to talk to you about in private," Carson replied, his face grim. Teyla immediately took the cue to return to Ronan's side. Sheppard watched as his teammate quickly moved out of earshot, his eyes betraying a deeply rooted fear.

"Is she…" Sheppard couldn't say what was on his mind, but thankfully it wasn't necessary.

"She's alive John," Carson replied to quell his fear, "But when she was beamed aboard the Daedalus…"

"What?"

"She was half naked, and badly beaten. She has a punctured lung, three cracked ribs, burns, and other wounds. But John…I had to use a rape kit, I'm waiting for the results now."

"Rape kit?" John muttered, his thoughts now unfocused.

"Aye. The situation called for it…Though I could be wrong," Carson whispered, "She's still unconscious, we'll have to wait to hear what McKay has to say and those test results."

John began to dislodge the IV, and other medical devices attached to his body, "Where is she? I need to talk to her."

"You need your rest. She's not even awake," Carson protested, shoving the Colonel back onto the bed, "I promise you I will wake her the minute she opens her eyes, but for now regain your strength...And John, technically I'm not allowed to share other patients conditions…"

"She's my team member!" John shouted in protest.

"Aye lad, I know. But protocol is protocol," Carson replied, raising his hands slightly to quell Sheppard, "I'm telling you because I know McKay better than most, and she'll stubbornly ignore this topic...I just wanted someone outside of this infirmary looking out for her."

John gave in, resting back onto his cot. He covered his face with his hands, unsure of how to feel: Guilty? Ashamed? Furious? He couldn't pinpoint one feeling, and his mind began to flood with too many thoughts.

They had been rescued, and that was great. But now Sheppard couldn't be completely sure what to expect in the next few hours…

* * *

I'm procrastinating on my International Development final, which is stupid of me, but I enjoyed writing this a lot more. Please give me your feedback, I love reading comments! Until next chapter: Relief! - JK


	4. Relief

Meredith McKay

By Jennifer McKay

Note: Again, thanks to my reviewers! I've been bogged down with work, so this chapter took a longer time to get out. Oh well, I definitely like it a lot more than the last chapter.

* * *

Chapter 4: Relief

Kavanagh sat quietly next to McKay's infirmary bed, reading over data results on his tablet. Every so often his eyes would stray from the streams of information and rested on the sleeping form of his boss, Meredith McKay. The outspoken scientist had ventured to think that McKay looked _peaceful_, as her chest rose and fell with her slow breaths. He chuckled at himself, and pushed his glasses back up the brim of his nose. Meredith McKay…peaceful…now that was the most absurd joke he had ever heard.

Then the physicist stirred, and Kavanagh was instantly drawn out of his musings. He stared intently, waiting for any sign of McKay's awakening. When nothing happened, Kavanagh sighed and returned to his tablet. Beckett circulated in and out of the room, making small comments in his about McKay's condition but didn't make any attempts to converse with him, which Kavanagh was grateful for. He had no idea how he was pulled into the shifts of watching over McKay that had formed, but he had long ago abandoned his agitation and welcomed the unique silence the infirmary provided to get his work done. He continued working for another half an hour when:

"H-hello?" He heard a small, feminine voice call out.

"McKay?" Kavanagh replied back, his tablet long forgotten on the side table next to him. When he made eye contact with McKay he said, "It's about time you woke up."

Still groggy, McKay replied, "How long have I been out?" Her eyes darted around the room, absorbing the comfortable feeling of being back in Atlantis.

"Three days," Kavanagh stated, "I should get Beckett or Keller, they should come see you."

Tapping on his headset Kavanagh began to speak, "_Kavanagh to Beckett._"

"_Aye lad, what is it?_"

"_McKay's awake. She's sort of out of it._"

"_I'll be right there._ _Beckett out._"

It was only a few minutes later when Sheppard came bursting into the infirmary. The Colonel had bumped into Beckett as the Scot was jogging towards the infirmary. Upon learning that McKay was awake and slightly disoriented Sheppard had taken it upon himself to come to his teammates aid. Beckett followed him into the room shortly after, slightly winded, having tried to keep up with the military man.

"Meredith!" Beckett exclaimed happily, "It's good to see you awake lass."

"Yeah, I am too…" McKay muttered, trying to get up, "Gah!"

Beckett rushed to her side, "Lay back down, love. You'll tear your stitches otherwise."

"Yeah, got that one." McKay sarcastically droned, resting her hand over her shut eyes.

"You're probably going to feel groggy for a little while," Beckett continued, "I have you on a morphine drip to ease your pain."

"Well if I don't mind, I'm going to go back to my lab." Kavanagh announced, grabbing his discarded tablet and rising from his chair.

Before he could leave McKay grabbed his wrist lightly, making eye contact with her fellow scientist, "T-thanks for hanging around. It would've sucked waking up alone."

"No problem," Kavanagh replied awkwardly, excusing himself from the room.

John had remained at the edge of the infirmary, surveying the situation. When he had been informed that McKay was awake he didn't even have to think about what to do next, but now that he was face to face with his friend he wasn't really sure about what to do. Luckily he didn't have to think long when Beckett interrupted his thoughts.

"I need to talk to Meredith for a bit John." John didn't get the message until Beckett added, "_Alone_."

Sheppard didn't need to be told twice, and uncharacteristically slid out of the room. He began to walk down the hallway, and took a seat near one of the large stained glass windows. The warm sun rays made contact with his exposed neck, and the soothing sensation lulled Sheppard into a quiet daydream.

oOo

"I feel like I've been run over by a bus," McKay joked, "But thank God I'm back home…"

"You might as well have been dear," Beckett responded, taking a seat at the edge of McKay's bed, "And we're glad to have you back, but Meredith…"

"What is it Carson?" Meredith questioned, a curious look on her face.

"You went through a lot, and I know it must be hard to have to recall it all…"

"Carson, it was nothing out of the ordinary—"

"I'm just going to come out and say it; Meredith when you were beamed aboard the Dadealus you were badly beaten, and half naked. Since you weren't awake, and I couldn't consult you I…"

Meredith knowingly responded, "…assumed that I was well…assaulted…right?"

There was a silence between the two friends. McKay felt embarrassed about the prospect of having to talk to Beckett about her time with Kolya, and Beckett wanted nothing more than to hop into a jumper and track down anyone who tried to hurt his closest friend, whether or not Meredith confirmed the test results.

"Aye love, I ran a rape kit…"

"So you already know, nothing happened. At least _that_ didn't happen." Meredith said, her hands crossed protectively across her chest, tear beginning to well in her bright blue eyes, "I mean he did sort of cross the line…but…he didn't have time to… "

That was when Meredith did something that made Beckett want to cry, Meredith clammed up and didn't say a word. Her sight was glued to the ceiling. The silence drained the usually cheerful presence that was Carson Beckett. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, only to have her flinch.

"The kit was clean but Meredith he still…"

Furiously wiping away the tears Meredith turned to Carson and demanded, "Don't tell anyone about this…"

"Mer—" Before Carson could even finish his sentence

"SWEAR!" She screamed, her eyes flaring with anger.

"Alright, I promise Meredith." Beckett responded, not sure how to deal with the fact he had already mentioned the incident to Sheppard…

oOo

Weeks had passed since SGA-1 had returned from the Genii mission, and things seemed to return to normal. John was happy that the incident didn't become a defining mission, but wasn't foolish enough to ignore the mistakes he had made; he learned from those mistakes, cataloged them in his mind. The lessons he learned became prominent every time he saw McKay, sitting in her lab, slaving away in front of her computer not talking to anyone.

Beckett had told him the rape kit had come back clean, which was a relief, but John couldn't help but suspect that there was more to the situation then both doctors were letting on. Neither one would talk about it however, no matter how much Sheppard pried, so the Colonel had no choice but to let the situation rest.

He was going to let it remain that way until he overheard a conversation between Sergeant Mehra and Doctor Porter.

"McKay's never been my favorite person in Atlantis but I feel terrible…she seems defeated somehow. Ever since SGA-1 came back from that Genii mission three weeks ago…" Mehra whispered to her teammate, "She doesn't even make sarcastic comments like she used too…"

"I know! Did you hear the rumor that she was beamed onto the Daedalus naked, and abused? Why she hasn't applied for a transfer is beyond me…even if she wasn't..._you know_...I would have by now." Porter replied quietly, her hands shaking, "If that ever happened to me…"

To Sheppard's surprise Mehra wrapped her arms around the doctor and placed a kiss on the her forehead, "I would never let that happen to you Alison."

Turning down the corridor, in order respect the women's privacy (and wanting to ignore Don't Ask Don't Tell), Sheppard made a B-line to McKay's lab. He needed to talk to her, and it had to be now.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment, and get ready for the next chapter: Zelenka! - JK


	5. Zelenka

Meredith McKay

By Jennifer McKay

Note: I'm really enjoying writing this fanfic, and I'm glad there are people enjoying it as well! To _Korilian:_ You actually raise a good point, which I realize I have to address in this chapter. For me it boils down to the interpretation of John's character. He's said it himself a couple of times, but he is a bit socially inept, and I would have to agree. It's one thing for John to be able to protect McKay, and the rest of his team from the Wraith or the Replicators, since they are physical things he can point a gun at. John can't protect people from their own emotions, and from their past. I never imagined him to be very good at comforting a hurting friend, especially a hysterical McKay…I'd be more than happy to continue the conversation with you through PM, since I'm taking up way too much space in this note. Perhaps this chapter will fix things up for you. :)

* * *

Chapter 5: Zelenka

Sheppard blindly shoved his way through the hallway of people floating around the science lab. When he finally reached McKay's lab, he noticed McKay and Zelenka standing outside the opened lab door.

"You can't stay like this forever Meredith," Radek stated plainly, blocking Meredith's path into the lab, "You need to eat, you need to get out, you need to _speak_ for Christ sake!"

John quickly became tired of eavesdropping, feeling as if that was all he had been doing for sometime now, and walked up to his two friends

"Colonel Sheppard!" Radek greeted, motioning to McKay to turn around.

McKay mumbled an incoherent greeting, and then used Radek's moment of distraction to push past him into her lab. Cursing in Czech Zelenka followed her into the lab, with Sheppard close behind.

"McKay," Sheppard called out, "McKay we need to talk."

Before Sheppard could get out his next thought, McKay quickly pivoted on her feet and was facing her team leader. A fuming expression graced her features, and she glared at John as if she could throw daggers at him with her mind.

"So _now_ you want to talk," McKay yelled, releasing weeks of frustration, "You ignore me for almost a month, and _now_, _now_ of all times you want to talk! You're unbelievable John, I may be socially incompetent but at least I'm not intentionally _mean_!"

McKay was, of course, right. John hadn't spoken to the chief of science, and now with introspection, had even gone out of his way to avoid her. He had assumed McKay would be fine, that she was strong, just like he was. It was in that moment Sheppard realized McKay was still just a civilian, who had no military training to deal with torture, and her strength was of a different kind…His intention wasn't to hurt his resident know-it-all. Yet, it seemed, his own inability to face what had happened to McKay, how uncomfortable it made him feel, had won out over his desire to protect her.

"You think you can just waltz in here and start up a conversation, as if nothing happened. You act as if I didn't try to talk to you three weeks ago, as if I just fell off the face of the planet! I finally think I've made a friend, someone I can depend on, and you won't even _talk _to me when I _needed_ you!"

McKay kept on yelling at top speed, which made Zelenka smile softly. It had been so long since the Czech had heard McKay speak more than five words at a time that he was actually happy to have McKay bickering again. He should have made an effort to bring Sheppard around earlier, because her demeanor changed like night to day. Crossing his arms, Radek felt ashamed for not considering the therapeutic effect Sheppard always seemed to have on McKay…

Radek's watched as the Colonel stared, shocked into paralysis, as the five foot two Canadian gave him a piece of her mind. It was when she began to cry that Radek considered stepping into the conversation.

"What am I suppose to do when I can't talk to one of the only people on this expedition I can trust Sheppard? I don't get close to people Sheppard, I don't have anyone outside of our team! And Teyla and Ronon didn't _go_ through what _we_ went through…what _I_ went through…" The woman's frame began to shake as tears fell freely, "You're _cruel_ John, and you don't even know it."

This was when McKay abandoned her tablet and was about to storm out of her lab when John caught her, and pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on the top her her head. This was Radek's cue to leave, and the scientist quickly exited. A grinned was now imprinted on his face, things were going to get better, he had a gut feeling.

oOo

McKay was slightly stunned when Sheppard pulled her into his arms, not expecting Sheppard to do such a thing.

"I'm sorry," Was all that escaped his lips, though the Colonel had never been a man of many words, which was fine with McKay.

She continued to cry into his shirt, wrapping her arms around him. The warmth of his body and his hands were soothing, nothing like Kolya whose hands had been cold as ice. Just the though of the Genii officers on her body, sent a violent shiver through her.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from Kolya," Sheppard whispered, rubbing circles on the small of her back, hoping it would calm her down, "I'm sorry for ignoring you, I'm just not very good at this sort of thing…"

"Neither am I," McKay replied, pulling away and rubbing her bloodshot eyes violently, "It's just that felt so alone…"

"_McKay?_" McKay heard Major Lorne's voice over her headset.

Tapping the headset McKay replied, "_What is it Major?_"

"_We have a black out on the East Pier, and we can't seem to get a hold of Zelenka._"

"_Always disappearing when we need him…_" McKay sniffled slightly, grabbing her tablet, "_I'll be down there in a second, just sit tight._ _McKay out._"

Tapping the headset once more McKay let out an exasperated sigh, "Atlantis sleeps for no one. Not even me,"

"What's up?" John questioned.

"Power is out on the east pier, Radek has been working on rerouting power for top efficiency of the ZPM, but apparently he hasn't finished the job. I have to go down there to do the work manually."

"Care for some company?" Sheppard replied.

"Sure, why not." McKay replied, "Let's head out."

Both knew the conversation wasn't over, but also understood that their responsibility to Atlantis came before any personal issues that needed to be iron out. Patting McKay on the back, he exited the lab with McKay. It didn't go unnoticed how chatty McKay was, as the two walked to the nearest transporter, and in short time new rumors began to circulate through the Atlantis grapevine:

"Seems like McKay's doing better, and apparently Sheppard had something to do with it, if you know what I mean."

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter, it's a bit shorter than the others but I think it does a lot in terms of healing Sheppard and McKay's relationship, whatever it may be. Hope you're all looking forward to the next chapter: Earthbound! - JK


End file.
